Did I say something??

In the midst of chaos or argument, emotions run high. Words, not carefully selected or controlled, come out of our mouths creating effects that can not be easily forgotten or ignored. Been there done that, aren't we all? Beautiful words create feeling of easeness and friendship, maybe love further down the road. Hurtful words destroy closeness and relationship. Think of how many years these effects last.

Sandra Ingerman, Marriage and Family Therapist wrote in her article Words as Seeds:

"Hebrew and Sanskrit are what we call vibrational languages. In Sanskrit it is believed that when you say a word, the vibration from that word goes up into the universe and comes back down as a physical manifestation. One Hindu creation story tells that the world sprang forth from the skulls of the goddess Kali's necklace. Each skull was a letter in the Sanskrit language. There are stories in the Hebrew tradition, too, about how words can be used to heal or harm, to create or destroy.
Hebrew is also called a consonantal language, meaning that it is made of consonants and not vowels. That is because the sounds and vibrations of the vowels are the real power; the consonants are what contain the power and therefore define the parameters of the power coming through. By not writing out the vowels, the language keeps most of the powerful words secret. You have to be told which vowels are used in a particular word. Also, a word could be an extremely powerful word using one set of vowels, but an ordinary word using another set of vowels.
The Qabbalists say that the world was created by the letters of the alphabet, meaning through the use of sound and vibration. The Hebrew bible embodies the very sound of creation, the vibrations that actually were used to create and manifest. Therefore words are "creative," and if they are creative they can also be destructive.
In ancient Egypt, action and words were often the same thing; words had so much power that often a metaphor was used in the place of a word. Otherwise, it was thought that the energy of the word -- potentially destructive -- would manifest physically.
The creation stories of many cultures teach that the world was created with a sound or a word. Genesis says that God created the world with the words, Let there be light. The New Testament says, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. In the cosmology of the Hopi, the sun god and earth goddess chant life into being. The Hindu scriptures teach us that aum is the sacred syllable from which the entire universe was created.
Even abracadabra, the incantation that many of us said as children, is actually a word of power that comes from the Aramaic. The original spelling is abraq ad habra, which literally means, I will create as I speak."

The words can create a difference. I learned this the hard way, add language barrier on top, the effect is so disastrous I wish I could change my name and relocate.
A lot of things can cause arguments, one of them is last minute change in wedding plans. I know, I planned my own wedding. I really didn't enjoy it, I just wanted to get married. I'm glad things worked out, but I wish I didn't say some of the words I said.
In marriage life this is doubly true, because we live with the person we talk to. Then there are also children and pets involved. All under one roof, affected by our words. The effect will spread to those who are or are not related to us, no matter where they live - some of these very people actually attended the wedding and (most likely) remember the words you said in the midst of celebration. Uh oh, that's no good !

Sandra Ingerman's book How to heal Toxic Thoughts is a very helpful and interesting piece. The time I spent reading it is a time well wasted. Try take a break from browsing the stores or planning your wedding, find a comfortable spot and read it. This author had presented her work at the UN in 2006. Most of her work is about shamanism, but this book in particular speaks for everyone and relationship. You don't have to adopt shamanism belief or be in a relationship to understand it.